If I'm Tagged, where are the supermodels?

Christine at the mighty Lift Like A Girl has apparently already figured out that I spend my life on the internet and tagged me for a meme. Ah, fuck it, why not?

Here are the rules:

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people (I'd choose all the same people Christine did, so that's kind of worthless) to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I spoke my first words at six months, was speaking in complete sentences at nine months, said the ABCs at eighteen months and could read my mother's nursing school textbooks when I was three. However I didn't roll over until I was four months, didn't crawl until I was almost a year and didn't walk until I was almost two. Some doctors thought I had cerebral palsy. My mother's eldest sister told her that it was okay, I could always attend college in my wheelchair. Needless to say that didn't go over well with Mom.

2. I am mostly right-handed, but I eat and play pool left-handed.

3. Mr. LRA and I were engaged seventeen days after we met and married seven months later because I wanted a wedding with the big white poofy dress and six months gave us time to plan. We'll celebrate our ninth wedding anniversary next month and still make people around us nauseous with various lovey-dovey stuff.

4. Speaking of dresses ... my wedding was seriously the last time I wore one. I don't even own one. I also rarely wear makeup and don't even have pierced ears. I'm pretty sure that in my past life I was a really macho gay guy.

5. I have never broken a bone in my life despite such mishaps as falling out of a four-story window, being in a car accident where I was catapulted through a windshield, and falling down the side of a mountain so hard I left blood on a trail of rocks about a hundred yards long. Milk does indeed do a body good.

6. Although I currently reside in the capital of the Confederacy, I was born and lived in central New Jersey most of my life. This tends to freak people out because they think that everyone from New Jersey talks like people on "The Sopranos" and I really have no discernible accent. Except for the words "mall," "walk" and "asshole." Must be the l's.

7. I am practically impossible to offend and will laugh at the sickest stuff you can come up with. An example--right after 9/11 one of the many sick bastards I know sent me a picture of some guy falling out of one of the World Trade Center towers. The caption on the picture was OH SHIT I FORGOT MY LAPTOP! I laughed so hard I cried. Fortunately I have equally sick friends who also thought it was hilarious, so when I go to hell I'll be traveling with a large group.

8. I hate shorts and refuse to wear them no matter how hot it is. It has nothing to do with my legs, I just don't like them. I wear sweats or yoga pants to the gym or out and about.

I'm sure you all found that deeply fascinating.